Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
