I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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