HIV tests are more positive than that guy
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
