Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
