What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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