Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
