You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
