take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
