The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
