I can tuck mytits in my pants
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
