Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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