I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
