eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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