CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
