I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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