Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
