clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize