she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
