they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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