Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
