Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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