When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
