dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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