You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
