You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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