She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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