hotel room ftw
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
