I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
