dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize