Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
