i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I cockslap morals
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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