I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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