why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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