I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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