we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
