I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
