I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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