the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
