You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
