how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
