matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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