Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
