His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
