Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
