If that was your dad, he is hot
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize