So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
