I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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