This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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