once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i out mim tonsoeep
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