my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
