Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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