a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
