The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You took a bar mat shot.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
